The value of being a ____

Kishkumen · **Posted:** Mon Apr 02, 2018 7:04 pm

So, I was on Facebook today, and I read the following:

Quote:

Important Life Update:

Some of you already know this but Annelise and I wanted to publicly share a pretty big life change we are currently moving through.

We feel it's important to be open with our community/friends/family as we make this transition and appreciate your continued love and support.

We have decided to end our marriage.

We want everyone to know that there is no animosity, in fact, there is only love, support, and positivity about what the future holds for each of us and the evolution of our friendship.

We are so thankful to our friends who have been there for us through this process and for understanding how much love and respect we have, and will always have, for each other.

Our relationship has taught us everything about unconditional love and we both feel that we are parting ways as exponentially better people thanks to each other.

We intend to honor all that we've created together and plan to continue our collaboration in whatever form it takes. But this is the end of this chapter and we truly feel it's the completion of a cycle.

Through every part of this process, we have been continually surprised by our own ability to love so deeply and the power we have to heal ourselves and each other through any challenge.

We love you all and appreciate that we feel comfortable enough to openly and honestly share this vulnerable part of our journey with you.

With Love,

XXXXX + XXXXX

OK. I like to think that I am not a bad person. But, wtf? Why do we need to know this ____? I am really baffled about the degree to which people are performing their lives via social media. OK, admission time, I do it too, to a limited extent. But it is coming to the point where I am tempted to troll the world with my TMI and delicate, ethical admissions of really bad behavior--fictional of course--to send up this fatuous, narcissistic nonsense in which people put the "right face" on their human grief. ____ that. Human grief is messy. Let's not pretend to be superheroes here. You are not showing you are enlightened by performing enlightened behavior. Is this an invitation to hit on these amazing beings who handle everything with such superhuman grace and composure? What are these people, freaks? You ended a marriage. Do it in relative private. Not on ____ social media. We don't need to know how you transcended hoi polloi in your sublime act of separation.

Jumping Jehoshaphat. Sweet fancy Moses.

Jersey Girl · **Posted:** Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:25 pm

I'm with you. There's no passion in that announcement. I'd rather see a good passion filled knock-down-drag-out than an announcement that has less emotion than if they were replacing a toaster.

Or better yet. How about shut the hell up and take care of your ____ in private?

Kishkumen · **Posted:** Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:33 pm

Jersey Girl wrote:

I'm with you. There's no passion in that announcement. I'd rather see a good passion filled knock-down-drag-out than an announcement that has less emotion than if they were replacing a toaster.

Or better yet. How about shut the hell up and take care of your ____ in private?

Damn skippy!

Bach · **Joined:** Wed Oct 09, 2013 5:41 pm **Posts:** 1543

It’s a Hollywood liberal thing. It’s their way in an attempt to capture every possible revenue stream to make them both look like great parents, people and inject a bit of formaldehyde to preserve their careers and sponsorships. It’s safe within a liberal media because they won’t print the obvious, not strong enough to say what ya’ll just said. Come on folks - wake up!

And why not just say it was Channing Tatum? WTF ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Oops, forgot: You are the liberal media mouthpiece.

Think straight and talk straight.

Perfume on my Mind · **Joined:** Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:59 am **Posts:** 13650

Kishkumen wrote:

What are these people, freaks? You ended a marriage. Do it in relative private. Not on ____ social media. We don't need to know how you transcended hoi polloi in your sublime act of separation.

I remember a time when "oversharing" was normally a taboo thing. Now oversharing is something people feel they have to do before getting their kids off to school in the morning.

I suppose that since I'm a naturally private person, the idea of all the additional info you can get by reading someone's Facebook page has always seemed somehow wrong to me. It's just that the lengths people go these days to let you know all the various details of their lives makes me wonder what it is in them that makes them feel the need to expose themselves so much. A person's Facebook page is like amateur porn without the resulting consumer titillation. Why are you snapping and posting a picture of your lunch? I doubt you'll remember that lunch the next day. Why should I care about it now? I wouldn't care what you were having for lunch even if I was having lunch with you. Do you actually get a charge out of someone "liking" your lunch?

What makes people imagine anyone (even their friends) gives a ____ about all that extra data about their lives? To me, that's the definition of narcissism.

Xenophon · **Joined:** Fri Oct 21, 2016 1:50 pm **Posts:** 1717

Some Schmo wrote:

What makes people imagine anyone (even their friends) gives a ____ about all that extra data about their lives? To me, that's the definition of narcissism.

So I'll start this by stating that I don't have a Facebook and am mostly inactive on the good ol' IG so I can relate to the idea of finding the "oversharing" perverse. All that said, your question above seems pretty simple to answer. We live in a world where people eat that ____ up, every. single. day. If someone is a narcissist for thinking people care that much about their lives it is a fault of society that they are. We (collectively) continue to like, up vote, share, snap, and feed off of that constant trickle of minutia which only begets more sharing. There is a connectivity that we crave, an overwhelming fear of missing out on something, a compulsion to see and be seen and the internet, social media especially, fulfills that need.

We can argue all day long how healthy the behavior is (I personally would contend that too much focus on the "digital self" is not ideal) but it seems silly to ask "why anyone does it". The answer is simple on that, because others still watch.

Perfume on my Mind · **Joined:** Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:59 am **Posts:** 13650

Xenophon wrote:

We can argue all day long how healthy the behavior is (I personally would contend that too much focus on the "digital self" is not ideal) but it seems silly to ask "why anyone does it". The answer is simple on that, because others still watch.

Well, I didn't really ask that question. After all, people do seek out the entertainment we find in others, so the impulse to create entertainment for others is reasonable. I know I've attempted it.

What I'm asking is more narrow: what makes people imagine that the mundane or even sordid details of their their personal lives is entertaining to others? If your answer is simply, "Even though you don't watch, others will," well then... that makes me an even sadder panda.

Related to the other parts of your post, I imagine I can't relate to the upvote/liking stuff because I don't personally engage in it. It's never seemed important or appealing to me. If something I read moves me, I'll make a comment in response, like people do. I mean, is this how lazy we've gotten? I agree with this comment, but I can't be bothered to say so... hey, this little Like button is convenient...

I don't think counting "likes" is a great measure of a comment, because we have no idea why people clicked that button. We don't even know if they read the comment in the first place.

Perfume on my Mind · **Joined:** Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:59 am **Posts:** 13650

Some Schmo wrote:

What I'm asking is more narrow: what makes people imagine that the mundane or even sordid details of their their personal lives is entertaining to others? If your answer is simply, "Even though you don't watch, others will," well then... that makes me an even sadder panda.

I just submitted this and reread it, and this paragraph jumped out at me. The entire reality TV/Jerry Springer phenomenon is built on the idea of watching boring people I don't care about saying and doing dumb things... and it's hugely successful.

I retract my question.

Xenophon · **Joined:** Fri Oct 21, 2016 1:50 pm **Posts:** 1717

Some Schmo wrote:

What I'm asking is more narrow: what makes people imagine that the mundane or even sordid details of their their personal lives is entertaining to others? If your answer is simply, "Even though you don't watch, others will," well then... that makes me an even sadder panda.

Apologies for maybe misrepresenting your question to start with. You definitely answered yourself here and in your next post so all I will add is this:

The value of being a ____

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