UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED FACT: Grass is green.
TRUMP: *tweets* Grass iz purpil.
EVERYONE WHO HAS EYES: Is he saying that grass is purple? Um, no it’s not. It’s green.
FOX NEWS: Grass is purple.
CNN: Breaking news: New debate rages about whether grass is green or purple.
EVERYONE: I’m sorry, what? Grass is green. There’s no debate.
CNN: Well we have to be fair and legitimize both sides.
EVERYONE: Grass is green. There is no other side.
TRUMP: *addresses news media on White House lawn*
REPORTER: What about the green grass that you’re literally standing on?
TRUMP: You’re very rude. The fake news media is very unfair to me!
TRUMP BASE: *chanting* Grass is purple! Grass is purple!
KELLYANNE: The democrats are trying to shove green grass down your throats because they’re all SOCIALISTS.
RUSSIAN TROLL ONLINE: Hillary Clinton has child slaves underneath a pizza parlor in Queens stealing everyone’s purple grass and painting it green.
TRUMP: *retweets Russian troll*
NEWS MEDIA: *legitimizes retweet by airing footage of it all day*
TUCKER: The Democrats are coming for your grass! 2nd amendment!!!
JIM JORDAN: *screaming* THEY HAVE NO PROOF WHATSOEVER THAT GRASS IS GREEN! NONE!
SCIENTISTS: Um, actually, we have irrefutable scientific proo...
JIM JORDAN: *screaming louder than all the scientists* NONE!!
HANNITY: Anybody that tells you grass is green is part of the deep state.
YOU: But grass IS green.
YOUR GRANDMOTHER AT THANKSGIVING DINNER: Are you part of the deep stage?
YOUR COUSIN IN PENSACOLA: *posts Breitbart meme on Facebook of cartoon frog smoking purple grass*
TRUMP: *tweets* Deep state! Socialists! 2nd amendment! I saw green grass the other day but it was artificial turf! That’s proof that all green grass is FAKE!
NEW YORK TIMES HEADLINE: Grass still green.
NOBODY: *reads newspapers*
RNC: *already mass producing purple hats with clever 2020 re-election slogan all made in China*
CHINA: *laughing in Chinese* Americans are assholes.
BARR: The report states that Trump is totally exonerated.
EVERYONE: There is no report.
LANDSCAPER IN INDIANA: It’s against my religious beliefs to plant green grass.
TRUMP: *already onto the next scandal*
EVERYONE: Oh for "F"s sake. Sure. Grass is purple. This is too damned exhausting. Who cares anymore.
UNIVERSALLY ACCEPTED FACT: Grass is now both green and purple at the exact same time.
PLANET EARTH: *heats up to the point where grass no longer exists*
The Grass is Purple
The Grass is Purple
"One of the hardest things for me to accept is the fact that Kevin Graham has blonde hair, blue eyes and an English last name. This ugly truth blows any arguments one might have for actual white supremacism out of the water. He's truly a disgrace." - Ajax
Re: The Grass is Purple
This captures the current state of the nation better than just about anything else I've seen.
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Re: The Grass is Purple
Icarus wins the Internet before I get my first sip of coffee.
“The ideal subject of totalitarian rule is not the convinced Nazi or the dedicated communist, but people for whom the distinction between fact and fiction, true and false, no longer exists.”
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
― Hannah Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism, 1951
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_DarkHelmet
- _Emeritus
- Posts: 5422
- Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 11:38 pm
Re: The Grass is Purple
Excellent post. As crazy as things are, I don't believe this "alternative facts" world the Republicans created is sustainable. Time has a way of correcting things.
"We have taken up arms in defense of our liberty, our property, our wives, and our children; we are determined to preserve them, or die."
- Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775
- Captain Moroni - 'Address to the Inhabitants of Canada' 1775