My friend's sad Father's Day

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_Jersey Girl
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My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Jersey Girl »

I don't usually write about serious in real life much here. I wanted to share this with you my MDB friends.

A friend of mine, the man who teaches my dance class, is spending his Father's Day weekend sitting in an ICU with his adult son (veteran) trying to decide when to remove his life support. The doctors approached him about it just yesterday.

This is one of the saddest things I've ever heard.

I am thinking about this father who is holding vigil over his son whom he helped bring into this world preparing himself to help him leave it. Can you even imagine?

And here, I like so many others, grumble about small things that don't really matter. Stories like this put things into perspective for me.

It is humbling.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
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_ajax18
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _ajax18 »

I had a fellow optometrist pass away from pancreatic cancer today. It was expected but still hurts. He was a great father. I don't even know if he brought life insurance.
And when the confederates saw Jackson standing fearless as a stone wall the army of Northern Virginia took courage and drove the federal army off their land.
_Jersey Girl
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Jersey Girl »

ajax18 wrote:I had a fellow optometrist pass away from pancreatic cancer today. It was expected but still hurts. He was a great father. I don't even know if he brought life insurance.


Thanks for replying here, ajax. It's good to know that someone read my post. I'm sorry to hear that you are grieving for your colleague. That type of cancer is probably one of the worst to deal with. I haven't seen updates on the son mentioned in the OP except that the family was camped out in the ICU last night which is what prompted my post.

The holidays are always a difficult time for those who are grieving but as today is Father's Day it makes your colleagues death all the more difficult and my friend will always recall how he spent this day with his son.

Our family wasn't all together today to celebrate like we usually do. We all spent time together in different groups so to speak. I had the best time at a Scottish Festival with some of the family but my thoughts of my friend were never far from my mind.

I hope your Father's Day was good for you and yours. In spite of the sadness of your friend's passing, I don't know about you, but times like this make me appreciate what we have all the more.

Peace.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Gunnar
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Gunnar »

Jersey Girl wrote:I don't usually write about serious in real life much here. I wanted to share this with you my MDB friends.

A friend of mine, the man who teaches my dance class, is spending his Father's Day weekend sitting in an ICU with his adult son (veteran) trying to decide when to remove his life support. The doctors approached him about it just yesterday.

This is one of the saddest things I've ever heard.

I am thinking about this father who is holding vigil over his son whom he helped bring into this world preparing himself to help him leave it. Can you even imagine?

And here, I like so many others, grumble about small things that don't really matter. Stories like this put things into perspective for me.

It is humbling.

It's hard to imagine a sadder way than that to spend a Father's Day! :sad:
No precept or claim is more likely to be false than one that can only be supported by invoking the claim of Divine authority for it--no matter who or what claims such authority.

“If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.”
― Harlan Ellison
_Jersey Girl
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Jersey Girl »

It is all happening right now. I mean, right now. I've tried to be of assistance in answering his Facebook questions on military mortuary affairs, etc. Just got done doing that a few minutes ago.

In any case, thank you folks for the replies. I just wanted to talk about it here because things like this stay on my mind, particularly a father's dedication to his son and how parents are there to serve their children in often deeply sad circumstances.

A father doesn't expect that that rowdy toddler that used to throw things around the living room and tear up the place, or the little boy running bases, will one day be in a hospital bed with Dad sitting bedside contemplating his death and when to choose it for him.

It is heartbreaking but in my life, I have looked at a similar situation as one of the greatest honors and blessings of my life. Because who else would you like to make that decision?

They are at peace with the decision and that's everything.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Some Schmo
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Some Schmo »

Can't even imagine it.

It's weirdly selfish, but I want to die before my loved ones do.
God belief is for people who don't want to live life on the universe's terms.
_Jersey Girl
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Jersey Girl »

Perfume on my Mind wrote:Can't even imagine it.

It's weirdly selfish, but I want to die before my loved ones do.


I think most of us would want that as well. When I have had opportunities to sit with terminally ill folks, I found myself thinking about their lives when they were healthy and sometimes retelling stories with them--"Remember the time we..." and laughing with them. I am sure this man was going over precious moments of his own. This was one of the saddest things I've ever heard about and the thought of it just touched me so deeply that I felt compelled to write about it here.

It has now reached a conclusion.
:-(
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
_Gunnar
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Gunnar »

Jersey Girl, I'm glad for his sake that he has a wonderfully supportive friend like you to help him through his grief. :smile:
No precept or claim is more likely to be false than one that can only be supported by invoking the claim of Divine authority for it--no matter who or what claims such authority.

“If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think, they'll hate you.”
― Harlan Ellison
_Jersey Girl
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Re: My friend's sad Father's Day

Post by _Jersey Girl »

Gunnar wrote:Jersey Girl, I'm glad for his sake that he has a wonderfully supportive friend like you to help him through his grief. :smile:


Oh thanks, Gunnar. You know what. The Lord has let me live a life where I was able to learn that not all men are scoundrels like my father was. This man is a good and decent man who really loves his family. Like you are.

This whole thing really just broke my heart. I wouldn't have written about it here had it not.
Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up.
Chinese Proverb
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