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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2018 10:45 am 
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Mittens wrote:
I agree with Joseph Smith back in 1835 when he taught God the Father was a personage of spirit


Do personages of spirits have a backside?

Do personages of spirits have a buttocks?

Do personages of spirits have a buttocks crack?

Do personages of spirits have a hole in the buttocks crack?

Well? Do they?

Personages of spirits have a mouth and when they open them there is a hole and a throat too if you look inside. So, who is to say they don't have a hole in their spiritual buttocks crack? Well, who is to say they don't?

Mittens, are you going to have a hole in your buttocks crack when you're resurrected? Are you prepared to drop your robe and let others inspect your crack to see if there is a hole?

I have more questions.

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2018 10:38 am 
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Shulem wrote:
Are you prepared to drop your robe and let others inspect your crack to see if there is a hole?

Shulem, say you were acting this out as part of an audition, what would be your motivation for asking? Would you immerse yourself in this role?

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2018 6:27 am 
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moksha wrote:
Shulem wrote:
Are you prepared to drop your robe and let others inspect your crack to see if there is a hole?

Shulem, say you were acting this out as part of an audition, what would be your motivation for asking? Would you immerse yourself in this role?


Every Latter-day Saint deserves to know if their Father in Heaven has an asshole. There is no hiding it behind his ____ white robe. Let's see the goods, Heavenly Father. Drop your ____ robe and let your children see what an asshole you have!

(This is because Shades put this thread down in telestial when it should have been left in terrestrial. Bad judgment call on his part, I think.)

Hey, Shades. Question. When you were a believing member of the church did it ever cross your mind whether your Father in Heaven had an asshole? If so, what was your opinion on the matter?

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2018 7:57 am 
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I thought the big question was, does he have a belly button.


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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2018 11:24 am 
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Shulem wrote:
Mittens wrote:
I agree with Joseph Smith back in 1835 when he taught God the Father was a personage of spirit


Do personages of spirits have a backside?

Do personages of spirits have a buttocks?

Do personages of spirits have a buttocks crack?

Do personages of spirits have a hole in the buttocks crack?

Well? Do they?

Personages of spirits have a mouth and when they open them there is a hole and a throat too if you look inside. So, who is to say they don't have a hole in their spiritual buttocks crack? Well, who is to say they don't?

Mittens, are you going to have a hole in your buttocks crack when you're resurrected? Are you prepared to drop your robe and let others inspect your crack to see if there is a hole?

I have more questions.



Joseph Fielding Smith answers your question :lol:


Selections from Answers to Gospel Questions
Taken from the writings of Joseph Fielding Smith
Tenth President of Mormonism
A course Study for the Melchizedek Priesthood Quorums
1972-73

Lesson 6 page 39

It was Jesus who gave commandments to Adam after he was driven out of the Garden of Eden and who directed Enoch and Noah before the flood. It was Christ who named Abraham and made him that through his posterity all nations would be blessed. He, it was who called Moses to lead Isreal out of Egypt and who wrote with his fingers on the tables of stone. He had no body until he was born in Bethlehem.

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2018 2:50 pm 
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Mittens wrote:
:lol:


Book of Mormon wrote:
Behold, this body, which ye now behold, is the body of my spirit; and man have I created after the body of my spirit; and even as I appear unto thee to be in the spirit will I appear unto my people in the flesh


Joseph Fielding Smith wrote:
So the Savior showed to the Brother of Jared his entire body just as it would appear when he dwelt among men in the flesh


Asshole.

Mittens, if I didn't know better, I'd say you are Heavenly Father's asshole. You most assuredly are a piece of ____ ____.

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2018 9:33 am 
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Yes. God has a penis, too. All is revealed in this book.

Oh, and God is dead. Sorry.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IWTRB3A/re ... TF8&btkr=1

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:26 pm 
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Maksutov wrote:
Yes. God has a penis, too.


Undoubtedly every single Latter-day Saint man who anticipates a glorious celestial resurrection expects to have their penis restored as a vital working part of their eternal body. But do these men also anticipate having an anus too? Obviously, the anus is an important part of the human body, so why wouldn't they have a resurrected anus and enjoy the pleasures of prostate stimulation?

These are valid questions of which I don't think Latter-day Saint men appreciate one bit. All this I suppose has gone over the heads of the prophets because they have not spoken on this matter. Then again, the prophets don't ever speak much about anything other than the same old regurgitated gospel ____ that members of the church are spoon fed year after year.

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2018 1:59 pm 
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Heavenly Father will now remove his robe, strip naked, and show all his children that he still has a crack in his ass.

Image

The honor be the the Father, the Son, and the Holy Asshole. Amen

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2018 8:10 am 
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Behold, I am God the Father. I have a resurrected, glorified, and perfected asshole. Would you like one too?

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2018 4:57 pm 
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Maksutov wrote:
Yes. God has a penis, too. All is revealed in this book.

Oh, and God is dead. Sorry.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00IWTRB3A/re ... TF8&btkr=1

Of course, if anyone, He would have a priesthood antenna.

p.s. is that book as awesome as it sounds?

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:56 am 
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Mormons have their heads in the clouds. They attest how glorious it will be to have a celestial resurrection and yet how many seriously ask themselves if Heavenly Father has an anus and perhaps more importantly whether they expect to have an anus? The whole idea of physical resurrection in Mormon heaven is nothing but fantasy, an alleged idea. Mormons fail to wrap their heads around such things and refuse to reason and speculate what they expect in a resurrection. It's all a mystery to them, clouded in mystery.

Stupid Mormons.

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 Post subject: Re: Does Heavenly Father have an ANUS?
PostPosted: Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:29 pm 
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Revelation from Dr. President Russell M. Nelson

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God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ have glorified assholes.

Their penises also have holy holes in them.

Without a hole, what's the point?

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