Hi Ajax...
Sorry about the messy post last night. The scroll function was being weird .... OK maybe this will make more sense.
No I'm stating that this is their natural inclination, and I'm also stating that the desire is always there. You can repress it, but it will always resurface.
Nope. It is the natural inclination for both men and women to pair bond. No question about this.
Perhaps in you the desire for multiple simultaneous partners is always there but this is not the case for most men. As I mentioned the world over men and women ((95%) PREFER and practice monogamy.
Now this is not to say there is not infidelity which is a totally different thing. Both men and women (equally in environments where the possiblitiy is available for both partners) may have an relationship on the side at some point.
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I know plenty of men for whom this is not the case.
Sure because of conditioning that has occurred in their own lifetime. Whether that is natural or not is open to debate, but it certainly goes against our natural instincts and desires.
Nope! Because of evolution not conditioning. Humankind has evolved beyond animalistic mating. You are wrong that monogamy goes against our natural instincts and desires. Humans have evolved to pair bond. No question about this.
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You also assume all women want one man.
I don't think even women themselves know what they want. Sorry, I couldn't resist. No seriously, I wasn't even addressing what women wanted. I know they didn't want their man mating with other women, but beyond that I haven't considered. It might be interesting though because women do cheat as well, and I have harder time understanding the underlying motives. Whereas for men, it's pretty clear to me.
It is very clear why men and women cheat. It has to do with mating strategies. Both men and women, when given equal opportunity cheat about equally. Men cheat so they can be assured of spreading their seed. Women cheat so they can be assured of resources. (OK this is really simplifying things but generally). Women want romance novels, men want porn. Simple! LOL! Both men and women will engage in extra marital mating under the right circumstances.
But the reality is both men and women, can move beyond this desire and happily pair bond for life without desires for others. This is the reality. It is not repression or denial or conditioning. It has to do with advanced evolution; enlightened men and women, or spiritual mastery, in my opinion.
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This is not the case either. What is true is that those men who made up the stories came up with ideas that THEY wanted without regard to women or children.
I never said they were considerate to anyone, women or men, since most men are hurt by polygamy in life as well. I asked what the rules should be and you mentioned the golden rule. What do you think of open marriages where both people have basically agreed to allow cheating. That follows the golden rule, but it sure does go against LDS doctrine?
Pair bonding in humankind has evolved because it is in the best interest of men, women, children, our society, and our species. There is no question about this whatsoever. It has nothing to do with morality, or what anyone thinks, it has to do with the history of our species.
If ADULTS want to engage in whatever form of partnering they feel is best, so be it. So long as children are not hurt adults are free to do as they wish. There have been numerous examples throughout history and all over our world of alternate types of arrangements and they have all been studied in depth. FEW forms of alternative mating work for any length of time and virtually always they have to do with some unusual environmental or cultural situation (few women so polyandry exists, ownership of women, so polygamy exists etc).
Polygamy just does not work under normal circumstances. Too much of society is harmed, children suffer, women are unhappy, men are left without partners. It just doesn't work and humankind has known this for hundreds of thousands of years (subconsciously at least).
To address your comments on my personal opinion... I go with humankind attempting to further the story of the universe as we know it for the past 13.7 billion years. In the human, the universe has continually brought forth more care, more love, more compassion, more attentiveness, more nurturing, and more depth of intimacy and emotion. I find this AMAZING! I can't even describe how incredible this is to me. It is through pair bonding that we see the depth of beauty that is possible in humankind. This is new to our known universe and in my opinion should be celebrated and honored and glorified as one of the most amazing accomplishments of our existence.
So for me, that which sustains, supports, encourages, helps, promotes this beautiful, holy (in my way of thinking), and most wonderful of human emotions should not be stamped out, thwarted, and destroyed.
Humans returning to a very primitive form of mating, seems to me to be totally against what the universe has brought forth...the most amazing ability in our known universe.
OK... last point! LOL!
I find it interesting that the "story" that men were made to have sex with every women who walks by, and women enjoy being with many women attached to one man UNBELIEVABLE! I only hear this in LDS men. I think it has to do with the need to rationalize what went on in the early days of the church but I can't think of even one person outside of LDS men who buy into this idea. It is nonsensical and utterly a make-believe story! :-)
You know what is disturbing... LDS men (some of them anyway), by holding to the idea that polygamy is the way of the God, and men were created to engage in multiple partnering creates or promotes the very desire. It is as if (some) LDS men hold to the idea that this primitive urge is a great thing and someday they will be able to sleep with all the women they want. I think most non-LDS men do not share this idea (with the exception of some Muslims). I think the vast majority of decent men think sleeping around is wrong and they need to overcome this animalistic urge not wait for the day to indulge it. My observation is that those men who realize from where this animalistic urge comes are the ones who move beyond it to embrace something much more meaningful and beautiful.
I wonder how this very odd belief of LDS men plays into the marriage relationship. I can't but think it is harmful.
~dancer~