https://nypost.com/2020/08/11/what-its- ... -marriage/Skyler Sorensen and his wife Amanda have a lot in common.
For starters, they’re both attracted to men. But Skyler claims that being gay hasn’t gotten in the way of their blissful marriage — or their sex life.
“That sexual attraction came from, I mean, trial-and-error and a lot of practice,” the 25-year-old told The Post, laughing with his wife, also 25.
As Mormons, he and Amanda believe that the “celestial marriage” between a man and woman — and a man and woman only — is key to heavenly salvation. So, the couple sought to make their unusual union work, despite their mismatched desire.
“We have our struggles of course, like every marriage, but me being gay hasn’t been … the biggest issue in our marriage,” Skyler said. “It’s been communication, normal marriage things.”
“Do I wish that Skylar wasn’t gay? Yeah, sometimes,” Amanda said. “But I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else other than him.”
There's a hint here that he felt pressured into it.Skyler said the term “demisexual,” or one who develops a sexual attraction after an emotional bond forms, may be a more fitting label for him. “I don’t know if we both fully understand how and why it works, but it definitely does,” he said of their sex life.
The pair, who now live in the Provo-Orem area of Utah, met less than five years ago when they were assigned to the same congregation, called a “ward,” in Salt Lake City, set up for young members of the Mormon church to meet, mingle and worship together.
“We don’t love socializing,” said Skyler. “And so we kind of … ”
“Bonded over that,” Amanda said, finishing his sentence — a mutual habit of the couple, who also work at the same extracurricular job, doing clerical and marketing work for a plumbing service. Skyler is also currently a student at Brigham Young University, while Amanda is on hiatus from Utah Valley University.
Amanda admits she was naïve about Skyler’s proclivity for men when they first embarked on a relationship, after about six months as just friends. But as the young couple began discussing the future, her intuition kicked-in.
These Mormon women married men who like men — and they're all OK with it
“Amanda is very … in tune with other people’s emotions,” said Skyler. The confrontation over his sexuality that ensued, he said, turned into a “springboard” for marriage talks when it became clear he hoped to spend his life with a woman.
My question is why they felt they needed to publicly justify their relationship...Determined to make the conventional marriage work, the Sorensens called on a trusted counselor, with both personal and professional experience in mixed-orientation relationships (MOR), to help them prepare for their unusual arrangement — which it turns out isn’t so uncommon, said Dr. Ty Mansfield, a private practice marriage and family therapist in Provo and adjunct professor at BYU.
Mansfield, who specializes in MORs, specifically among Mormons, said “anywhere from 40 to 60% [of my clients] are navigating sexual or gender-identity questions.”
“Whatever path you choose, there are healthy ways and unhealthy ways to navigate that path,” he said. For some in the church, this could mean a lifetime — an eternity, even — of celibacy. Others, such as the Sorensens, can achieve an “authentic sexual expression” through the “nurturing of the … personal, spiritual bond,” as opposed to defining marriage as “just an expression of [an] orientation.”
So "Some Gay men should suppress their sexuality and marry a woman, because that's what we did and look how happy we are".The Sorensens hope that by speaking up about their marriage, they can be advocates for others whose religious beliefs may clash with their orientations.
“We want to just advocate that this is an option, too, if this feels right to you,” said Amanda. “It’s really a hard journey for men within the church that are gay, or even women as well that are lesbian.”
I hope this ends well for them.
For reference here is a link to Dr Ty Mansfield https://maritalintimacyinst.com/team/ty-r-mansfield/
Interestingly Dr Mansfield is also an self confessed openly gay man married to a woman.
https://radiowest.kuer.org/post/convers ... -mansfieldMonday, we’re talking about the delicate balance of being religiously conservative and attracted to the same sex. Ty Mansfield is a family therapist and he’s attracted to men. He’s also married to a woman, has kids, and is a faithful Mormon.
Mansfield believes that human sexuality is fluid enough for some gay people - not all - but some to be perfectly happy married to someone of the opposite sex. Mansfield joins us to share his own story, and to talk about what he’s learning about sexuality and happiness.