1 down, 4 to go

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
_Dr Exiled
_Emeritus
Posts: 3616
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2015 3:48 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _Dr Exiled »

Yes, avoid the shame room at all costs. Don't give them any power and remind yourself how much time and money your family members are wasting in misplaced loyalties. Maybe you can have the caring condescending attitude for them that they are encouraged to have for you?

My nephew was married a while ago in the SLC temple and my son and I toured the most holy mall across the street while waiting. I had my mother text me when the ceremony was complete and they were outside for pictures so we wouldn't miss the important part. I had a coffee and my son looked at all the new stuff from Apple. We made the most of it.
"Religion is about providing human community in the guise of solving problems that don’t exist or failing to solve problems that do and seeking to reconcile these contradictions and conceal the failures in bogus explanations otherwise known as theology." - Kishkumen 
_toon
_Emeritus
Posts: 522
Joined: Tue Nov 10, 2015 5:13 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _toon »

My dad waited outside when I got married. Years later, I apologized. He responded that he was ok, because he knew that I was doing what I believed in. The reality was that it hurt him. He was only ok with it because he had since had time to reflect on and come to terms with it. He knew enough about Mormonism to know what it meant and that we weren't trying to be exclusive, condescending, etc.

With regard to the advice above to not even wait outside the temple, I think it should be approached on a case by case basis. Sometimes you just do things for loved ones even though it's painful. And there are ways to make it less painful. A flask of whisky in the pocket can help.

Fortunately, none of my kids will ever get married in the temple. I have a number of nieces and nephews who will, but I'm perfectly fine missing out on the ceremony. Boring as ____! If you've seen one temple wedding, you've seen them all. While I wouldn't enjoy hanging out outside, it's still better than having to sit through one of those things. And I'm perfectly fine just being the drunk uncle at the reception.

(Speaking of being the drunk uncle, one of my nephews had his reception held at Sundance. I skipped out a few times to stop in at the bar there. They laughed and pointed out that they always get one or two escapees for each reception.)
_candygal
_Emeritus
Posts: 1432
Joined: Sat May 07, 2016 2:38 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _candygal »

I am so sorry..I walked outside Temple gates with my mom and brother/sisters. She cried..we all cried..we were the best Mormons..enduring. Being true to yourself though..that will get you through so many things..Hugs..Candygal.
_Amore
_Emeritus
Posts: 1094
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2014 4:27 pm

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _Amore »

Don’t believe for a second you have not been considered by The pyramidion. They have already begun plans in several locations by lds temples near you, to provide sufficient opportunities for you to shop ‘til your little (or big) bootie drops, as you wait for your loved ones to choose religion over you, as they’ve been carefully groomed to do. City Creek, Oahu, and many others, including the beginning of a shopping center in AZ are proof that you have not been forgotten! They may soon reach the goal of having a lds shopping center available to all profitable members.

”When it came time to cut the mall's pink ribbon, Monson, flanked by Utah dignitaries, cheered, "One, two, three, let's go shopping!" We all know that Jesus would never have overthrown and whipped people for using temples to make money and break up families. :rolleyes: :evil: :question:

It hurts. Forgive them for they know not what they do.
_RockSlider
_Emeritus
Posts: 6752
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:02 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _RockSlider »

Madison54 wrote:Sorry, aznative....this part sucks. I still have children who are active and I know I have this to look forward to. Ugh.

My advice?
...


Bad advice aznative, hey you need and deserve the full treatment here. Who knows, perhaps there is an afterlife and perhaps you will be able to testify, with the video played of you being shamed, against those who enforced such a cruel policy.

Go for the full experience I say, hell I was dumb enough to do it for my three childrens weddings.
_DrW
_Emeritus
Posts: 7222
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 2:57 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _DrW »

[Partial deletion by author.]

While I have not pointed this fact out to those involved, I may well do so at some time in the future. It will be interesting to see how they justify ranking their voluntary contributions to a cult above an opportunity for their grandchildren to attend college without accumulating a near lifelong burden of debt (or indeed to attend college at all).
Last edited by Guest on Fri Apr 13, 2018 2:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
David Hume: "---Mistakes in philosophy are merely ridiculous, those in religion are dangerous."

DrW: "Mistakes in science are learning opportunities and are eventually corrected."
_RockSlider
_Emeritus
Posts: 6752
Joined: Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:02 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _RockSlider »

DrW wrote:While I have not pointed this fact out to those involved, I may well do so at some time in the future. It will be interesting to see how they justify ranking their voluntary contributions to a cult above an opportunity for their grandchildren to attend college without accumulating a near lifelong burden of debt (or indeed to attend college at all).


Do you remember a few years back, that video encouraging 'grand parents' to disinherit their wayward posterity passing their inheritance to the church instead.

Do you really think sharing that information with them will have any effect on them?
_DrW
_Emeritus
Posts: 7222
Joined: Thu Apr 02, 2009 2:57 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _DrW »

RockSlider wrote:
DrW wrote:While I have not pointed this fact out to those involved, I may well do so at some time in the future. It will be interesting to see how they justify ranking their voluntary contributions to a cult above an opportunity for their grandchildren to attend college without accumulating a near lifelong burden of debt (or indeed to attend college at all).


Do you remember a few years back, that video encouraging 'grand parents' to disinherit their wayward posterity passing their inheritance to the church instead.

Do you really think sharing that information with them will have any effect on them?

Good question.

First response is that the in-laws of the extended family of my generation have come to learn about one another in the intervening years, and seem to get along well when there is an occasion for interaction (which is not often). That is one reason I have not said anything.

Also, I have noticed that a few of them who live outside of Utah have seemed to distance themselves from the Church of late.

Second response would be that I had forgotten about the video you mentioned. Given that this shameless tin cup panhandling really was suggested by the LDS Church at one point, I wouldn't really know what to expect.

Your comment makes me think that the whole thing is probably not worth mentioning because it would likely just embarrass everyone involved, and might engender hard feelings as a result.

It's always a good to keep in mind that one's bitterness should really be directed at the corrupt leadership of the Church and not the hapless individual members.

Thanks for the question, RockSlider. It helped me decide to delete most of the earlier post. I trust that things are going better for you now with regard to your health. Ain't none of us getting any younger.
David Hume: "---Mistakes in philosophy are merely ridiculous, those in religion are dangerous."

DrW: "Mistakes in science are learning opportunities and are eventually corrected."
_SuperDell
_Emeritus
Posts: 919
Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 12:27 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _SuperDell »

Temple Marriage does more to divide families than anything else I can think of in LDS belief.
“Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth.”
― Joseph Joubert
_aznative
_Emeritus
Posts: 146
Joined: Sun Feb 13, 2011 3:41 am

Re: 1 down, 4 to go

Post by _aznative »

6 more days until I have to sit outside at my sons wedding.

damned cult.
Post Reply