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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 5:41 pm 
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Wow..my posts probably make you all just cry! :redface:


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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:21 pm 
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I was so obsessed with missionary work for so long. Strangely, reading this now, I kinda just don't care. So many reasons why it's failing, which all just boils down to really inept leadership.


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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 8:26 pm 
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Water Dog wrote:
I was so obsessed with missionary work for so long. Strangely, reading this now, I kinda just don't care. So many reasons why it's failing, which all just boils down to really inept leadership.

But when the leaders in question are prophets, seers, and revelators, ineptitude isn't quite a good enough explanation - you have to explain total lack of prophecy, "seering", and revelation as well.

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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:50 pm 
God
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Inept leadership goes beyond the lackeys on earth and onto Jesus himself, based on the church's claim doesn't it? That explains it even better. Jesus ditches us and disappears for thousands of years, and this is supposed to help convert the world? :rolleyes:

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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 1:10 am 
God
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Craig Paxton wrote:
Everybody Wang Chung wrote:
We are now below 67,000 (missionaries):

When will this bottom out? Are we just going to see declines every single year until the number of missionaries reaches 0? Strange.


In the Name of Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood which I used to hold, I command you to stop with these lies and your misinformation. I know with every fiber of my being that you are attempting to deceive us with your biased distortions of the truth...Be Gone Devil.

And how do I know that you are lying to all of us....Because one of the Lord's anointed, even Jeffery R. Holland, has prophesied that there will be over 100,000 missionaries in the field by the year 2019...that's next year you fool. So your numbers and so called facts of declining missionaries can't be true....you messenger of the devil. Desist with your lies and deceptions. The church has never been healthier or on a better footing then today.

PS: The church is true

http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?i ... type=CMSID

Wait. We can still make this work out.

It's time for the Church to spit out a new bit of prophecy in order to prop up the old prophecy, by announcing that all missionaries can now marry while in the mission field. Although marriage to fellow sister missionaries is preferred, young men can also take wives from the local population. The key in all of this is that immediate pregnancy will be strongly encouraged, so that births can also occur while the missionaries are still in the field.

Births occurring in this manner will be customarily treated as 'children of record', and as all such 'records' are considered as 'members', then these children can be counted as part of the missionary force on duty, given that every member is a missionary anyway.

In this way, we can nudge close to 100K 'missionaries in the field' and let Holland save face, if the kids just get busy.


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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 1:13 am 
God
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Brilliant Canpakes! That could actually work. Are you buckin for the next prophet position?

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"Being and nonbeing arise mutually. Thus not to see the unity of self and other is the fear of life, and not to see the unity of being and nonbeing is the fear of death." Alan Watts

"The problem is most religions proceed to try and explain the truth and then insist that you agree with their explanation." Brad Warner


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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 1:26 am 
God
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Philo Sofee wrote:
Brilliant Canpakes! That could actually work. Are you buckin for the next prophet position?

Sadly, there is no provision for a write-in candidate. : ) I hereby (and ironically) prophecy that I will not be the next prophet.


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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2018 4:25 pm 
God
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I wonder if the Mormon corporation will start paying for the expenses involved in going on a Mission like they do for those who are Missionaries from poor Foreign countries.

I remember learning that my companions costs were being paid by Salt Lake and felt that IF he should be supported financially for serving, certainly I as a Missionary should have the same support.

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 Post subject: Re: Missionary Numbers Drop Over 5% From Last Year
PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2018 9:08 pm 
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canpakes wrote:
Philo Sofee wrote:
Brilliant Canpakes! That could actually work. Are you buckin for the next prophet position?

Sadly, there is no provision for a write-in candidate. : ) I hereby (and ironically) prophecy that I will not be the next prophet.

Wow!

Your prophecy came true.

You now likely have a better batting average than the official PSRs.

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