New prospective Missionary Questions

[_I have a question]

http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/multimedi ... letter.pdf

Question 8

Have you ever sexually abused a child...

Page 8

homosexual activity...distorts loving relationships and prevents people from receiving the blessings that can be found in family life...

[Guest]

[_Shulem]

3. What does it mean to you to repent? Do you feel that you have fully repented of past transgressions?

In other words, have you ever or do you now masturbate? The LDS church is obsessed with masturbation. They have to know if you are doing it or if you've truly stopped doing it. It's that simple. When it comes to the boys, masturbation is always the bottom line in the LDS church. It's ridiculous, I know.

[_Shulem]

A person who has been promiscuous with several partners or with one partner over an extended period of time in a relationship outside of marriage will not be considered for missionary service. Stake presidents and bishops help these individuals repent and provide them with other meaningful ways to serve the Lord.

In other words, Jesus' blood isn't good enough for you and you will have to become a second class Latter-day Saint. But never fear, you're going to be saved with salvation and maybe someday be worthy of exaltation. But as far as serving a mission for the church, you can forget that. You're damaged goods -- a licked cupcake

[_I have a question]

A person who has been promiscuous with several partners or with one partner over an extended period of time in a relationship outside of marriage will not be considered for missionary service. Stake presidents and bishops help these individuals repent and provide them with other meaningful ways to serve the Lord.

Such as cleaning the chapel toilets.

[_Shulem]

[Before marriage,] do not participate in passionate kissing

What other kind of kissing is there? Unpassionate kissing, perhaps?

Oh, I get it. The quick peck is okay. But don't hold on for very long. You might need to limit your time with the aid of a stop watch.

Mormonism is so twisted. Everything about Mormonism reeks like a cult.

[_Shulem]

Do not view, read, or listen to anything that depicts or describes the human body or sexual conduct in a way that can arouse sexual feelings

Ugh, that also means you can't look at yourself while taking a shower or pose in the mirror and explore your intimate expressions. Heaven forbid your privates will get excited!

Jesus Christ.