My rebuttal of Tad Callister's talk

[_Grudunza]

Audio link: https://soundcloud.com/user-480239968/o ... rophet-joe

ODE TO PROPHET JOE
Parody of "Ode to Billy Joe" by Bobbie Gentry.

It was the first of October, another sleepy General Conference day
I had to watch it with my family who was visitin' from far away
I made it through the morning session, didn't care what they were squawkin' about
But then I heard a talk later made me want to poke my eardrums out
I thought, I gotta find a baseball bat to smash this stupid TV with
When I heard silly ol' Tad Callister go off defendin' Joseph Smith

So Tad said to the members, from that great and spacious conference stage
Well, Prophet Joe never had a lick of brains, and he was of too young an age
Too many names and places, stories and events he couldn't make up himself
And all those books the Book of Mormon rips off were never on his shelf
By the time his talk was over, I knew I would need to drink a fifth
When I heard silly ol' Tad Callister go off defendin' Joseph Smith

Now we all know that the prophet Joe was brilliant and as sly as a fox
But when needed for apologists, well, he was dumber than a box of rocks
And he never had those books, but wait, didn't he read the first chapter of James?
Oliver's preacher wrote View of the Hebrews, Anthon's dictionary had those names
He had the opportunity and time and talent to create that myth
But still that silly ol' Tad Callister goes off defendin' Joseph Smith

[_deacon blues]

Whooooohahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

Love it

[_Kishkumen]

Fantastic.

[_toon]

Is that a moss covered, three handled Grudunza?

[_Stem]

passing on to my wife (she was most annoyed by his talk too, I thought it more par for the course).

[_Grudunza]

Is that a moss covered, three handled Grudunza?

Yes, the “family” style.

Glad y’all dig the tune. His name just seemed to be a nice fit for that one.

[_candygal]

I, too, used to come to Joe's defense..
Until I read all these things about him
That just didn't make much sense..

But you have to hail the man ya know
The way he made things work for him
Without the visions and talks with God
The chances of many wives were slim.

The man could take a rock and make special
A hat, charisma and some rather twisted wit..
It is a shame that we can blame..
The scoundrel..Joseph Smith.

Loved your poem!!