Jesus Christ Action Figure

The catch-all forum for general topics and debates. Minimal moderation. Rated PG to PG-13.
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

Behold, it came to pass that Mary grew uneasy and troubled Joseph continuously. Therefore, Joseph, seeing he was no longer able to prevail, decided to hang it up.

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Sorry, Christmas is cancelled!

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_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

Work out your salvation with fear & trembling

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Fear me, I'm Jesus the king of the Jews. Bow your knee or suffer death!


you're going to hell
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

The Miracle Jesus Action Figure!

1. Glow-in-the-dark HANDS!
2. Feed 5,000 miniature people (Bread & Fish Included!)
3. Turn water into wine (Wine sold separately)


Fun for all ages

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You can make the Bible come true!
Last edited by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

It's the latest and greatest Jesus Christ Action Figure:

Fun for the prophet. Fun for the Pope.

You can have fun too!


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Ewweey, who cut the cheese?
Last edited by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2019 6:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

The Jesus Christ Action Figure:

--- Jesus Christ Action Figure ---

1. Water into wine action!

2. The ability to walk on water!

3. Feed an entire village with just 2 slices of bread!

Thank you, Jesus
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

Drunken Jesus knows how to party!

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"Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it. When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine . . . . well drunk"
_Mormonicious
_Emeritus
Posts: 1523
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:59 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Mormonicious »

Being a Trumpet (a.k.a. the Christian Right's hero president), I would want one with a PUSSY GRABBING GRIP for the ladies.

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2018/11/ ... 46496.html
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions ... eb8e8adf98
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-47066659

https://youtu.be/o21fXqguD7U (youtube video of trump's statement about grabbing)
Revelation 2:17 . . give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it. Thank Google GOD for her son eBay, you can now have life eternal with laser engraving. . oh, and a seer stone and save 10% of your life's earning as a bonus. See you in Mormon man god Heaven Bitches!!. Bring on the Virgins
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

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Holy, holy, holy . . . . hail king of the joints!
Last edited by Guest on Thu Jun 20, 2019 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

Touchdown, Jesus! It's a miracle!

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No bull, Jesus even works for food!

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Go Jesus!

:lol:
_Shulem
_Emeritus
Posts: 12072
Joined: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:48 am

Re: Jesus Christ Action Figure

Post by _Shulem »

If you love me, kiss my feet.

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Prove your love and smooch my feet
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